Historical Bulgarian of the Week - Kaloyan Stefanov Mahlyanov:
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Hello loyal readers.
We here at B22 Blogstars like to stay on top of what’s hip, what’s happen, what’s hot and what’s fresh. For instance, yes we all have the new Soulja Boy album, what got all his fly steps down and of course we rock only the latest fashions. For example look at this picture of me decked out in the latest threads:
Not only that but we like to respond to what, you, our loyal readers would like to hear and judging from the poll located on the top right of this page we have a certain reader who is much more enthusiastic than the rest, dare I call him a "faithful" reader…
Ladies and Gentleman, Mike Huckabee is our most "faithful" reader! To show you all just how “faithful” he is I found this on his web-site: “My faith is my life - it defines me. My faith doesn't influence my decisions, it drives them. For example, when it comes to the news, I believe in being a regular reader of such established publications as b22blogstars.blogspot.com. I don't separate my faith from my personal and professional lives.”
You heard it folks, straight from our future presidents mouth! That being said I would like to dedicate my newest blog to Mike Huckabee!
My third "Historical Bulgarian of the Week" is Kaloyan Stefanov Mahlyanov (or “Калоян Стефанов Махлянов” in Bulgarian). He was born on 19 February 1983 in the town of Veliko Turnovo. However, Kaloyan, is better known as, “Kotoōshū Katsunori” which is his professional Sumo Wrestling name.
Yes, you read that correctly. There is a professional Bulgarian Sumo wrestler!
He made his debut in November of 2002 and slowly worked his way up the ranks and now he is currently ranked as an "Uzeki" or "Champion", the second-highest level only to "Yokozuna". At 25 years only he stands at 6 feet 8 inches tall (aka 2.03 meters for all you Metric System users out there) and he weighs 340 pounds (aka 152 Kilos)!
However large Kaloyan seems to us, he is considered light is the world of Sumo Wrestling. He is right handed and switches between hands to grab the belt and use agility to out maneuver his opponents.
All of this Sumo Wrestling research and all of this Mike Huckabee research has really got me thinking... Who would win in a Wrestling Match, Kaloyan or the "Huckster"?
You already know Kaloyans stats, so here are "Huckies": The 52 year old former Arkansas Governor stands 5 feet and 11 inches tall and at one point used to weigh 280-300 pounds! However in 2003 he took a more healthy turn and lost over 110 pounds. He currently sits at a mere 180 pounds...
...while this is great for "The Hucklers" mental and physical well-being I see this as a detriment to his chances in the ring. He is a good deal shorter and considerably smaller. However, the one thing that our next president does have going for him is training. I don't know how many of you were aware but Mike Huckabees personal trainer is the one and only Chuck Norris! The word on the street is that he even has taken Chucks fighting style and blended it to best suit his own methods! For those of you who don't believe me, I have physical proof!!!
I think a fight between the two might look something like this...
...and after a few rounds of our dear friend "Mr. Huckington" toying around with the big fella he pulls out the big guns. Starting with his famous opening move "The Hymn-er"...
... which is of course is followed always by what is infamously know among religious fighting circles as "The Sermonizor"...
...and he would defiantly finish with the most deadly of all attacks, "The Baptism"...
Thanks for reading what is, by far, the craziest thing I have ever written. I hope you enjoyed. Also, special thanks to J-Dub Paper stacks for the help! There is no way I could have done this without you. Until next week...
PS- Mike Huckabee when you do in fact read this, as I know you will, I would like to tell you that I have a bone to pick with you about making Gonzaga lose. Now I know you don’t like Jesuits but you really should have let them win at least a couple of games in the NCAA Tournament, for my Grandmothers sake if for no other reason... The End.
Posted byPavel at 10:10 AM
Labels: Bulgarian History
You left out something crucial. Huck's weight and height are irrelevant, because, he majored in miracles. Majoring in miracles means he can conquer statistically impossible campaign situations and defeat Bulgarian sumo wrestlers. Anyway, rocking post.